Saturday, December 28, 2019

Crazy Eyes, Danny Fumbles, Mono, and Black Cats - A Year in New York Football



Can you believe it's Week 17 already in the league where they pay ...... fah play. Unfortunately, in East Rutherford, it's another season where no meaningful games were played in December. For Gang Green, it's the ninth straight season without a playoff appearance, and could be the fourth consecutive year with double digit losses. Big Blue meanwhile, have only sniffed the postseason once in the past eight years, and have lost over 11 games the past three seasons.

I can't wait for this decade to finally end on Tuesday. Since Costa's in the Cage is read by both Woody Johnson and John Mara (especially after I begged the Jets to draft Dashaun Watson) I know my plan to turn both franchises will be on their respective desks before kickoff tomorrow. Since the Jets won the Snoopy Bowl this year I'll cover them first.



After dumping a man who somehow had less charisma than a bag of milk, the Jets handed the keys of the franchise over to banished former Dolphins coach Adam Gase. Jets fans wanted Mike McCarthy, bro, and were even more furious after an introductory press conference where it looked like Gase was having his testicles electrocuted while having to watch every Jet failure from the past 50 years. Things settled down going into the draft, where the Jets picked Quinnen Williams with the third pick.

Being the dumpster fire front office we're known for, the Jets couldn't let things go smoothly into training camp. After we signed CJ Mosley and Lev Bell, the Jets fired GM Mikey Mac. Soon after, Joe Douglas was in charge and ready for the season. I'd love to have been a fly on the wall to know what really happened that led to hostile takeover by Gase. My best guess is that the Jets always wanted Douglas, but he had prior commitments where he couldn't leave the Eagles until after the draft.



With all that in the past, we were ready on Week One to potentially compete for a playoff spot this season. In true Jets fashion, it took three quarters for it all to fall apart. After jumping out to a 16-0 lead against the Bills, CJ Mosley got the AIDS and we lost 17-16. A few days later, it came out that Sam Darnold would be out a month with mono, after kissing too many girls under the Seaside Boardwalk.

A once promising season was 0-4 and then after a shocking win against Dallas in Darnold's return was quickly 1-7 after seeing ghosts on Monday Night against the Pats. A win against the Little Giants though sparked the Jets to make a little run, who are currently on a 5-2 run that has given gullible  Jets fans like myself promise going into next season.




We enter this offseason with a little more stability, much to the chagrin of some Jets fans (bro), Gase will be back next season, and he's ready to work together with Joe Douglas to fix some glaring holes on our roster. I personally don't hate Gase, but am not convinced he will be the guy who can turn the ship around either. However, in Sam Darnold's best interest, it would be best to not have to learn another playbook next season.

The Jets are near the middle of the pack with $60 million in cap space before making any cuts (Trumaine Johnson, Avery Williamson, and Quincy Enunwa to name a few), and currently hold the 10th overall pick. They also hold the Giants 3rd round pick, giving us four picks in the Top 75 of the draft.

After almost trading him at the deadline, I'd make resigning Robbie Anderson a top priority this offseason. Rumors are he's looking for around $10 million per year, and while he isn't a top reciever he has great chemistry with Darnold. If you can team him up with Jerry Jeudy or Ceedee Lamb, and use the rest of the draft and cap space to sure up the o-line and bring in a pass rusher the Jets would be in great shape for the future. It wouldn't be a terrible idea to give Jamal Adams a long term deal to make up for almost trading him at the deadline. He's the leader of the defense and should retire a Jet.


Enough about the Goddamn Jets. Get your popcorn ready, it's time to talk about the losers on the other side of Jetlife Stadium. After finishing 8-24 the past two seasons, the Giants needed a major rebuild to begin competing in 2019. Instead, GM David Gettleman made several strange decisions. The G-Men also made a huge mistake shunning the Sports Pope when he called them out on their foolish maneuvers.

Trading Odell Beckham to Cleveland wasn't bad in a vacuum, getting back Jabril Peppers and the 16th overall pick in the draft is a pretty fair value. Making the trade after signing him to a big contract the past offseason, that led to $16 million in dead cap space however is a different story. They also thought that 31 year old Golden Tate would help ease the loss of Beckham, but he's quickly become an afterthought in the offense. Drafting Daniel Jones with the 6th pick has seemingly worked out during an up and down rookie season. However, much like the Beckham trade there's a flip side of this decision. Keeping Eli Manning and his $17.5 million salary and benching him two games into the season is foolish given the other glaring holes on this roster.



The Giants of 2019 looked very similar to the old Giants in the first two weeks of the seasons, with an anemic offense and swiss cheese defense. This led to the decision to bench veteran Eli Manning and start rookie Danny Dimes. Shurmur and Gettleman looked like geniuses and were smirking smugly after Jones led the team to wins in Tampa and at home against the Skins. The win against Tampa was bittersweet as Saquon Barkley suffered a high ankle sprain that made him ineffective for the remainder of season. The Danwagon derailed almost as quickly as it accelerated.

During a nine-game losing streak, Jones had nine interceptions and twelve fumbles. The Giants infamously had a 12-3 lead against the Cowboys before a black cat appeared on the field, as Dallas went on to win 37-18. After Daniel Jones suffered an injury during the Week 13 loss against the Packers, Eli Manning returned had a feel good win against the Dolphins in Week 15 snapping their losing skid. In typical Giants fashion, the good vibes ended during last week's win against the Redskins, which big blew their chance at Ohio State linebacker Chase Young. The Giants can finish the season on a high note playing potential spoiler to the Philly Scumbags.


Owner John Mara enter the offseason with a lot of big decisions to make. Coach Pat Shurmur is going to be let go on Black Monday, and I feel like Gettleman should join him on the unemployment line. It would be foolish to say Gettleman has been a total failure in his two years, drafting the future of the offense in Daniel Jones, Saquon Barkley, and Darius Slayton. However his ego and grating personality has run it's course in New York. Gettleman may be a good scout of talent, but his decision making has put the Giants in a big hole. 

I went through this with the Jets last season, where Woody should've let Mike Mac go with Todd Bowles and start fresh. You don't want to follow the Jets pattern of dysfunction. Instead, let your new GM decide which head coach he wants to hitch his wagon to, with big names available include Mike McCarthy and Riverboat Ron.

The Giants have $66 million in cap space and currently hold the 4th overall in the draft. Their offensive line is still an issue and the defense almost needs a complete overhaul, giving up the 4th most points in the league this season (417). For now, Giants fans need to wait a few more days to see if John Mara makes the correct decision on Black Monday.


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